saturday morning
so i wake up early saturday morning, gear up and jump on
my orange trek 1000
i pass my neighbor jo on the way out
she shows me her new $4200 windows
real nice, clean windows with fiberglass screens
she's excited
she tells me that our neighbor "bea" (this name is false not to protect her but because i never cared to remember her name)
told her that i almost ran her over on my bike the other day
i wasn't on my bike the other day and fortunately haven't seen bea in weeks?
bea is 92 and lives with ron in the first floor corner condo
ron is a widowed snow bird and heads to florida every winter
a few winters ago he returned with crabby bea
i guess ron considers her a companion and someone to drive the gold oldsmobile
isn't that what cats and cabs are for?
just a little history on bea...the free-loading lady friend
a few years ago i knocked on ron's door and she answered
i asked her if she'd receive a dell pkg for me and she said, "we're going to genardi's today" and closed the door
last summer my buddy and i were leaving my place walking over to board the R3 to phila for a concert and she squawked "don't walk on the grass"
bea, ron and some other fossils were chatting on the sidewalk so we said hello and walked around them, yes entering onto the grass...MY GRASS!
i didn't appreciate hearing "don't walk on the grass" WHERE I LIVE!
so anyway back to saturday morning...i leave jo, my nice neighbor with the new windows, and cruise thru wallingford and media en route to ridley creek state park
on the way i roll down preston road
haven't been on that street for many years
very surreal
i reminisced
ran into brent and as usual he shared some preston road dirt
mr. long is re-married
mr. barlow has a girlfriend
the fittipaldi's still live there
some trees were destroyed by the storms
the neighborhood kids still consider #10 the "nolan's house"
i leave upper providence and cruise down sycamore mills
i'm goin about 8 mph, still thinking of preston road childhood memories
station wagons with wood, kick the can down near the turberville's house, lawn chairs circled around our front yard as my dad lit his fireworks display with a 6-pack of schlitz in him...
i then feel this male presence to my left
"hi, nice day huh?"
"yeah it is" i say
"how many miles you doin today?"
"about 25" (not a lie)
"how bout you?"
"did 40 already, about 20 more" (probably not a lie either)
"great day huh?"
"yeah it is" i say again
"see ya"
by now i'm doin about 20mph on my skinny tires
my cheeks are at my ears
many thoughts cross my mind as i whiz by jacques lane
"that guy was cute"
"if i wipe out i'm fucked"
"i'm going too fast"
"do i have disability insurance?"
"could i crawl to mr. wiggin's house for first aid?"
"that guy was really cute"
i enter the park and loop around twice and head back to swarthmore
the cute biker passes me again on sycamore mills
this time uphill and not conducive for conversation
just a friendly out of breath wave
i make it home safely after a great morning ride
i approach rutgers ave and pass by ron and bea's corner condo
i don't see big tall visually impaired ron or bea in her sag harbor skirt
so i keep riding to my door
as i'm getting off my bike and opening my door i hear "excuse me excuse me" and i see this blue skirt coming at me
"you almost hit me the other day" she says
"i haven't been on my bike this week, it wasn't me"
"yes it was" she says
she goes on and on pointing her finger at me and my bike accusing me of almost running her down 2 days ago and says "you should walk your bike through here"
i looked at her and said "you should stay in the house"
i couldn't believe it...there i was in my courtyard arguing with a 92 yr old
she is unbealievable!
when is that cold front coming?
bea needs to go south
my orange trek 1000
i pass my neighbor jo on the way out
she shows me her new $4200 windows
real nice, clean windows with fiberglass screens
she's excited
she tells me that our neighbor "bea" (this name is false not to protect her but because i never cared to remember her name)
told her that i almost ran her over on my bike the other day
i wasn't on my bike the other day and fortunately haven't seen bea in weeks?
bea is 92 and lives with ron in the first floor corner condo
ron is a widowed snow bird and heads to florida every winter
a few winters ago he returned with crabby bea
i guess ron considers her a companion and someone to drive the gold oldsmobile
isn't that what cats and cabs are for?
just a little history on bea...the free-loading lady friend
a few years ago i knocked on ron's door and she answered
i asked her if she'd receive a dell pkg for me and she said, "we're going to genardi's today" and closed the door
last summer my buddy and i were leaving my place walking over to board the R3 to phila for a concert and she squawked "don't walk on the grass"
bea, ron and some other fossils were chatting on the sidewalk so we said hello and walked around them, yes entering onto the grass...MY GRASS!
i didn't appreciate hearing "don't walk on the grass" WHERE I LIVE!
so anyway back to saturday morning...i leave jo, my nice neighbor with the new windows, and cruise thru wallingford and media en route to ridley creek state park
on the way i roll down preston road
haven't been on that street for many years
very surreal
i reminisced
ran into brent and as usual he shared some preston road dirt
mr. long is re-married
mr. barlow has a girlfriend
the fittipaldi's still live there
some trees were destroyed by the storms
the neighborhood kids still consider #10 the "nolan's house"
i leave upper providence and cruise down sycamore mills
i'm goin about 8 mph, still thinking of preston road childhood memories
station wagons with wood, kick the can down near the turberville's house, lawn chairs circled around our front yard as my dad lit his fireworks display with a 6-pack of schlitz in him...
i then feel this male presence to my left
"hi, nice day huh?"
"yeah it is" i say
"how many miles you doin today?"
"about 25" (not a lie)
"how bout you?"
"did 40 already, about 20 more" (probably not a lie either)
"great day huh?"
"yeah it is" i say again
"see ya"
by now i'm doin about 20mph on my skinny tires
my cheeks are at my ears
many thoughts cross my mind as i whiz by jacques lane
"that guy was cute"
"if i wipe out i'm fucked"
"i'm going too fast"
"do i have disability insurance?"
"could i crawl to mr. wiggin's house for first aid?"
"that guy was really cute"
i enter the park and loop around twice and head back to swarthmore
the cute biker passes me again on sycamore mills
this time uphill and not conducive for conversation
just a friendly out of breath wave
i make it home safely after a great morning ride
i approach rutgers ave and pass by ron and bea's corner condo
i don't see big tall visually impaired ron or bea in her sag harbor skirt
so i keep riding to my door
as i'm getting off my bike and opening my door i hear "excuse me excuse me" and i see this blue skirt coming at me
"you almost hit me the other day" she says
"i haven't been on my bike this week, it wasn't me"
"yes it was" she says
she goes on and on pointing her finger at me and my bike accusing me of almost running her down 2 days ago and says "you should walk your bike through here"
i looked at her and said "you should stay in the house"
i couldn't believe it...there i was in my courtyard arguing with a 92 yr old
she is unbealievable!
when is that cold front coming?
bea needs to go south
posted by cns at 8:08 PM
6 Comments:
Observations:
"...bea, ron and some other fossils were chatting on the sidewalk ...."
"...my cheeks are at my ears..."
"..if i wipe out i'm fucked..."
"...station wagons with wood, kick the can down near the turberville's house, lawn chairs circled around our front yard as my dad lit his fireworks display with a 6-pack of schlitz in him..."
PinF considers this to be without doubt your finest, funniest, and most well written post. One question? What did you mean when you said " I then feel this male presence to my left".....What was it that you were feeling? Depending on the answer this post may receive an "R" rating.....evn so good stuff. A tad better than the McDonalds Hedge Hog post.
I have to agree with PinF in that this is some quality prose and certainly eligible for some sort of blogger award (whatever new one PinF wants to make up this year). CNN, are you looking for the cold to come in so Bea heads south or so that bea actually succumbs to the sub-zero Delco temps that are bound to hit us this year!
Also, have you come up with an outfit for Borgata on the 24th? Bill may need some fashion consulting from you, as well!
Only thing missing is a shot of you in "your gear" on your orange Trek!
PP spare us, I think we all agree that isn't a "Must See Photo". But I concure with your analysis, I see in this post alost a "pilot" for a funny sitcom.....the single chick living abopve the crabby old lady....
As for the comment "whatever new one PinF wants to make up this year"....whoah big fella. I already had you penned in for your very own award based on thew hugely popular and incredibly entertaining post CSI South Jersey:
(http://chipstack.blogspot.com/2006/07/csi-south-jersey.html)
Though I must confess, the judges are a bit miffed at that underhanded and almost cynical remark, as if PinF hands out awards like candy. Hence, your award is being further scrutinized for accuracy and prose.
great post...I can't wait to come over and stalk Bea a bit and scare the poop out of her...she better be wearing her Depends. Also, interested in checking out Jo's new windows.
love that you are enjoying your bike so much .. A+
both sick at the treehouse :(
CNN, lets get together for our Borgata fashion consultaion ASAP!
You better hope poor li'l old Bea don't end up at BMT.
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